The title pretty much says it all as far as why I have not posted anything new for the last 11 months. I have put off writing this post long enough and it’s time for me to get back into posting more regularly.

In February this year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer as my brother and I sat holding hands in a sterile room with a doctor I had never met. My story isn’t a lot different than any other cancer story other than my own unique view of events as they unfolded around me. I have always intended to write about my personal experience with cancer but now I find it harder than I expected. Where to begin? I suppose at the beginning, but when did it all really begin? Hindsight is a wonderful thing after-the-fact. Unfortunately, hindsight is of little help when you’re in the throws of events seemingly beyond your control.

I knew in November last year that I had a serious physical problem. I did what I usually do, hoped it would go away instead of seeking medical help right away. I am like many other self-employed Americans, I do not have health insurance nor could I afford to see a doctor, so I stewed and fretted about what to do and how to do it. No one knew I was having a problem, no one. I kept telling myself that I needed to know what the problem was before telling my family. Hindsight has shown me that I wasted a lot of time and effort by not seeking help and not telling my family right away.

I live in a small desert community without a free or low-income clinic. My only option was to go to the county hospital 100 miles away. I had heard many horror stories about the county hospital but I had to put them out of my mind because getting no help was worse than taking my chances at the county hospital. I decided to go to my cousin Danny’s home the day after Christmas. He lives 50 miles north of Bakersfield where the county hospital is located. My reasoning was that it was 50 miles closer and I could get to the hospital early the next day. I told my cousin and his wife that I had a doctor’s appointment the next day in Bakersfield without giving them any of the details. Thankfully, they didn’t ask for more information, especially since I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment. The county hospital works on a referral program and the only way I could get referred to a doctor was to go to the emergency room, see a doctor there, who would then give me the referral. I had no idea of the obstacles I would have to traverse before I could actually see a doctor.

To be continued ….

I had a birthday a few days ago and received a beautiful card from a friend. The image on the card holds a lot of meaning and different people will see different things or experience different thoughts and feelings.

For me the image represents healing. The woman holding the ball of light is both the healer and the receiver. She holds her own healing in her hands. She is the magic she seeks. I believe this image would be good at sparking creative, personal, and spiritual insights through writing in a personal journal and allowing thoughts, often negative, to run rampant across the page. Once all thoughts are emptied out, the image will take on new meaning and the mind can access a broader range of creativity and/or personal understanding.

As a story prompt, just putting the image into words might open a deeper understanding of a character’s inner journey and how it manifests in her every day life. Try writing a paragraph that describes the image, then write a paragraph that shows what you just described. Engaging the reader (showing) is far more powerful than telling them through descriptive monologue.

I may try doing this myself when time permits. If I do, I’ll add it to this post as an example. If anyone drops by and decides to use this image as a writing prompt, please leave a comment about your experience and/or the paragraph you created.

Since the year is new, I wanted to write a post with something new or different than I normally write about. I have thought of using images to spark creativity in the past but never did take action on that thought. Today seemed like a good time to explore using an image as a writing prompt. Images can say different things to different people and most of us aren’t aware of how an image affects us because we don’t take the time to study how we are affected by visual stimulation, perhaps because we are visually over-stimulated most of the time. But, we do react to visual stimulation. The key in using images to spark creativity is to write about that reaction.

Below is an image I ripped out of a magazine a long time ago to use in an art project. Write your initial thoughts on seeing the image. Do not edit your thoughts, simply write them down without judgment.

Now that your initial thoughts are down, look at the image again. What emotion do you see within the image or what emotion do you feel when viewing the image? Write it down, then under the emotion write how you might describe that emotion to a reader. There can be more than one emotion stimulated within any image. Write each emotion separately with ways you can express that emotion.

If you want to explore different ways or find creative words to express emotions, try doing the clustering technique I wrote about in this post.

Now revisit your initial thoughts on the image and write a single paragraph incorporating your initial thoughts with the emotions the image stimulated. Show rather than tell the reader how to feel. Then develop a story or character outline from that paragraph.

As 2006 comes to an end and 2007 is on our doorsteps, I wanted to take a moment to send out a good wish of fortunate circumstances for anyone who happens to read this.  My 2006 started out somewhat hopeful but realistically I didn’t expect anything “big” to occur; I simply wasn’t in the right frame of mind, my health though improving was not yet what it should be at that time.

Now, one year later, I can say with conviction that 2007 is meant to be a fantastic year for me.  I am so much better health-wise and my mind has cleared up to a degree I never dreamed was even possible.  The biggest changes of all are that I know now some very important word definitions which I needed to apply in my life; writing for Wild Mind was a very big part of that process but beginning to build a friendship with a wonderful woman named Gloria was the spark that helped to ignite it all.  I am now so full of life and energy.  I am constantly writing and surrounding myself with wonderful people and ideas.  I wanted to take this moment to share my joy and my wonderful not-so-new secret.  With real trust and faith anything is possible.

Faith was sorely lacking in my life, during my years of depression and rehabilitation, I had the hope and memory of faith but I couldn’t seem to grab hold of it and claim it for my own.  I couldn’t own it because I never thought I mattered enough, I didn’t love myself enough and so loving and kind as I might be, I could never truly share myself with anyone completely.

2006 has changed this part of me, 2007 is the start of a true and wonderful adventure in the life I now claim as my own.  I am living my dreams and actively pursuing my hearts’ desire.  Certainly everything hasn’t suddenly come up roses, I still have many struggles and I don’t suddenly have all the answers to the riddles of the universe.  I do however have confidence in the steps I take, I know I am making wise, healthy and balanced decisions; I know I am putting one foot in front of the other and I am on my way to meeting the destiny that was meant to be mine.

The other day I submitted a short story for our annual local newspaper contest; I may be surprised if they choose my story or I may be surprised that they don’t but I have no doubt that by the time they publish the results of the winners of that contest in July (around my fortieth birthday) we will be half way through the year 2007 and I will have had successes greater than one simple contest could bring.  Still I am hopeful that my entry might do well as some of the prizes are pretty remarkable and to be published locally would be a real feather in my cap.  Having said that, I am still working on a novel in progress and plan on sending out a query letter this week to a publisher that might have an interest in it.  Additionally, I have several short stories and narratives that I just need to sit down and write in order to send them out as manuscripts; the only thing that has held me back on this is that the ideas have had to be put on hold over this holiday time where most of my hours have been taken up with family functions, church celebrations, and time with new and old friends.

Recently I have been busier than I have ever been in my whole life.  I have honestly never been this content, happy or fulfilled.  I wish everyone could have just a portion of the joy that I am currently feeling.  My heartfelt wishes of love, peace, and health to all for 2007.

There are seasons for everything, just as there are reasons for everything.  I’ve come to the recent conclusion that all questions are important but that probably the most valuable one of all is “why”.   In posting here on pointless matters, questionable beauty, purpose, definition, and commitment, an element that I’ve probably alluded to many times in some way or another is that all of these items are personal in nature; they have meaning specific to the author and perhaps another meaning specific to the reader.  I am writing this post because there is a reason it was meant to be written; I know mine, as the author of this post.

There is a piece of writing that I often refer to, entitled something like “A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime”; though my recollection of the title may not be accurate and at the moment I cannot for the life of me think of the author of it, I often think on it and find it online and refer my friends to it.  Not knowing the source right now, I suggest a reader might use their favourite search engine, like google.com or ask.com and just type in Reason, Season, and Lifetime if you are curious enough to read it yourself.  Lest I ramble further during this limited time I have, let me get to the point; the “why” that I often share this with those I care for is because I do care for them which is also the “why” for this post.

I recently asked my daughter to draw me a scenic picture, specifically an autumn picture, which has a personal meaning for me, it is a way of trying to have an actual “physical” picture of a vision I have in my brain.  I would like to hang it in a place of honour in my home, if it is meant to be because it represents a long-time dream goal of mine coming to fruition. 

I have been thinking a lot of seasons and reasons recently.  Autumn has long been a favourite season of mine; I would even have named my daughter Autumn had her name not already been predetermined.  I’ve said frequently over the years, I don’t care for the heat and the intense sunshine of the summer months, nor for the bitter cold and travel limitations the winter months often bring; my seasonal preferences tend to be spring and fall… a kind of “happy medium” or a kind of “moderation in all” mindset.

There are, however, many things that I do love about summer and winter.  With winter here at the moment for me, the busyness of the holiday season is evident all around me.  In my home, I am preparing to have a very modest little Christmas celebration.  It will be very special in ways that are a little too personal to express right here and right now; this Christmas for me, however, is one I know without a doubt I will always remember.  Which in itself is quite telling because for the past several years this “holiday season” has not been anywhere near the top of my list in areas of interest or excitement; this year, I am inspired.  This year there is an undeniable magic in the air that is fairly pulsing in my veins as I try to find the words to share it with you.

The energy however, is not just mine alone to claim; this season does not belong only to me and my family.  My son brought home a school calendar reminding us of the celebrations of other communities around the world.  The missive went on to give a brief outline of Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Eid al Adha, and the birthday of Guru Gobind Singh; not to mention the New Year’s Celebration coming up on January 1, 2007 that will if not “celebrated” in all parts of the world, is at least recognized by most people as a new calendar year.   Recently I’ve been listening to the radio a lot, so I’ve been hearing a lot of seasonal music which reminded me that I might say Felice Navidad to some friends, instead of Merry Christmas or Season’s Greetings.  In a day and age where it is not easy to be “politically” correct in greeting all of our neighbours because we cannot know their personal beliefs, values, and celebrations, I wanted to take a brief moment to wish Gloria and her family, and the entire family of internet friends that might find there way to this post the peace and blessings of this season, no matter how it is that you choose to celebrate it.  I wish you all, believers of any faith, race, religion, denomination, generation, community or values, the joy, love, and goodness that can be found in any day or season that we celebrate life.

I apologize in advance to anyone of any “value system” that I may have offended with the use of any of my words that might for some reason not be conveyed in a manner that shows them the respect that they deserve; my intent here was simply to share the joy I now have in my life and wish the same to anyone who happens to read this post.  So to any writers, readers, internet surfers, or persons with wild minds or brilliant minds who happen to read this post I extend my personal greeting of respect and good will to you, your family and your community; that is my “why for this season”.