I’ve decided to back out of the NaNoWriMo project. I was not prepared to make the commitment required to complete the month of high-speed writing. I had not given it enough thought before jumping in but this last week has shown me that I just do not have the time needed to make a good effort toward completing a 50,000 word novel. It’s not that I felt pressure to actually have 50,000 words written by the end of this month, I would have been happy with 25,000 words but even that amount looks out of my reach when I get real with myself.

I have lots of excuses, all revolving around time. How much time do I actually have to devote to one writing project this month? The truth is almost none. Now, I could drop other self-made commitments and free up enough time to continue what I started on the NaNoWriMo project for a few more weeks but with the Thanksgiving holiday coming up my free time will become even more limited. November and December are my busiest months at work and my off work time is busy with preparing for family gatherings.

Since I’ve had so much resistance to writing I had to get honest with myself this past week. I realized that all I really have are excuses for not writing. Regardless of how valid those excuses are, they are still excuses. When one makes excuses for not doing or completing something, they are in essence saying they don’t have a choice, that circumstances have made the choice for them. The truth is that they have already made a choice, even if that choice was not to do or complete something. We become attached to our excuses because they create the illusion of having less responsibility or accountability for our lives. When you don’t think you have a choice, you become a victim to circumstances and we all know that victims have no power or control over their experiences.

As has been said, “the truth will set you free,” which is true for me in the case of the NaNoWriMo decision. I had already made some choices and I have chosen not to change them in order to participate in this particular writing project. I weighed my original choices on a scale and they out weighed the NaNoWriMo project. I’m not going to stop writing but for now it will be a different kind of writing than required for the NaNoWriMo project. It’s important for me to get back to daily journaling, not just for my writing but most importantly, for my sense of well being. I also want to get the writing done for the about section of this blog and continue to add information about the writing process that will include the good, the bad, and the ugly. So stay tuned, I’ve only just begun.