The title pretty much says it all as far as why I have not posted anything new for the last 11 months. I have put off writing this post long enough and it’s time for me to get back into posting more regularly.

In February this year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer as my brother and I sat holding hands in a sterile room with a doctor I had never met. My story isn’t a lot different than any other cancer story other than my own unique view of events as they unfolded around me. I have always intended to write about my personal experience with cancer but now I find it harder than I expected. Where to begin? I suppose at the beginning, but when did it all really begin? Hindsight is a wonderful thing after-the-fact. Unfortunately, hindsight is of little help when you’re in the throws of events seemingly beyond your control.

I knew in November last year that I had a serious physical problem. I did what I usually do, hoped it would go away instead of seeking medical help right away. I am like many other self-employed Americans, I do not have health insurance nor could I afford to see a doctor, so I stewed and fretted about what to do and how to do it. No one knew I was having a problem, no one. I kept telling myself that I needed to know what the problem was before telling my family. Hindsight has shown me that I wasted a lot of time and effort by not seeking help and not telling my family right away.

I live in a small desert community without a free or low-income clinic. My only option was to go to the county hospital 100 miles away. I had heard many horror stories about the county hospital but I had to put them out of my mind because getting no help was worse than taking my chances at the county hospital. I decided to go to my cousin Danny’s home the day after Christmas. He lives 50 miles north of Bakersfield where the county hospital is located. My reasoning was that it was 50 miles closer and I could get to the hospital early the next day. I told my cousin and his wife that I had a doctor’s appointment the next day in Bakersfield without giving them any of the details. Thankfully, they didn’t ask for more information, especially since I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment. The county hospital works on a referral program and the only way I could get referred to a doctor was to go to the emergency room, see a doctor there, who would then give me the referral. I had no idea of the obstacles I would have to traverse before I could actually see a doctor.

To be continued ….